Stretched Thin

 

It's been a LONG month.  Today is the first full day I have spent at school since February 21st!  First there was Cally's case of pneumonia and then Hazen came down with a very similar cough/fever combo for almost two weeks.  John was away and I was terrified that he had pneumonia again.  He was waking up in the middle of the night, barking like a seal, and showing similar struggles that he had in September (when he was hospitalized for pneumonia).  Almost every night for the better part of a week, the two of us would sit in the downstairs bathroom with the shower running hot, so he could settle his bronchi down.  I brought him to the doctor twice in one week because his fever persisted and the cough sounded just awful (each time they told me his lungs were clear).

He had his last bad bout of coughing the night before John came home from Idaho and I was spent.  I had been staying up late most nights the week before planning so that my student teacher could teach my classes, grading, and getting my ducks in a row and would then be woken up for 1/2 hour to 45 minutes of settling the little man's cough.  About an hour after he had gotten back to sleep that night, I heard Cally cry out for me.  I almost ignored her, but some sort of sixth sense peeled me out of bed to see what was up.  She told me her belly hurt...... and so began another bout of the stomach flu in the house.  I won't go into the details about that, but let's just say that when she was still getting sick the next day after John came home, I walked away and he knew it was his turn.

Cally's stomach flu was not of the 24 hour variety.  It lasted 6 full days!  She was lethargic, ate almost nothing, and was sad for the whole week.  When something like that lasts for so long, you start to worry that a child's little spirit is being sucked away.  It's scary.  At one point, we almost made a visit to the ER for fluid replacement, but she learned that that would mean a needle in her arm and agreed to drink more fluids.

So, John, who had been out of work for almost two week, and I, who missed most of four of the previous days of school, had to figure out a way to each stay home with her (because she was in no position to go to school or daycare).  It wasn't convenient or easy, but we pieced it together and made it work for everyone.  She finally turned the corner on Friday afternoon (only after we went to the doctor, AGAIN) and things were looking up.  She got a bounce in her step, she had an appetite, and her little fiery personality was back. 

Within 24 hours of her revival, John went down with the same thing!  At this point, I was done.  My capacity for patience and compassion was at a low point and I was hard pressed to do more than keep the children away and deliver gatorade to him.  He was unable to even come downstairs for almost 36 hours and it was a weekend, so I was on my own, again.  The kids were great and all, but I had these hopes of going on a run with my running partner, maybe skiing as a family, or going on a hike.  I did end up getting the kids to Echo (a local museum), but I miss the family unit-- being able to do things together--- not passing the baton, as John and I did all week upon his return.

Checking out baby soft shell turtles at ECHO

Everyone seems healthy today.  If I've learned anything this month, it's that you can try to plan and organize your life, but you always have to be ready for a curve ball.  I'm one of those teachers who gives the students a five week calendar with every assignment and activity planned out.  It's important for me to get assignments back to students in a timely manner.   I use a calendar and map out my week every Sunday.  If I get a little warning and I can anticipate a change to this scheme, I'm fine, but I don't do as well with the whole "fly by the seat of your pants" thing.  When I actually write this, it makes me feel so old and set in my ways, but, it's what works in my chaotic life.  John, too, has his idiosyncrasies.  He hates what he calls "interspace".  He doesn't like being in a holding pattern and either wants to be told what he should be doing or have a plan.  This month has forced us both to let go of these quirks and just go with the flow a lot more.

Fishing at ECHO

I know I won't be winning any "Teacher of the Year" awards this year.  And definitely won't win "Wife of the Year", but I've really tried to keep my cool and be the parent I want to be for my kids-- even though the stress has seeped into my experience with them, I've tried to really appreciate the extra time I've gotten to spend with them (the alone time is so great).  They really are such amazing little people.

We aren't out of the woods yet.  Hazen had a rogue fever the past two nights and I'd love to find out what that is all about.  I'm downing a ginger, vinegar, honey, lemon, olive oil, and cayenne tea and flushing my nose with a netty pot, while also disinfecting all the surfaces in my house with a vengeance!  Crossing my fingers that we can avoid more germs.

The Language of Love

 

Our dear friends Rebecca and Chris just adopted a five year old son from Ethiopia.  It's been a long process, but he arrived in Vermont last Tuesday.  His name is Caku and we've been anxiously awaiting his arrival.  We'd seen pictures and heard stories, but nothing could prepare us for our initial meeting on Sunday.

I had told the kids that we were going to meet Caku and drop off some dinner for his family.  When we woke up that morning, Cally eagerly got dressed and asked that I not help her (which lately has not been the case).  She promptly returned to my room in her "Chinatown outfit" (a birthday present from her thoughtful godparents).  She told me she was wearing that because she knew that people who usually wear that type of outfit live far away and she also knew that Caku had come from someplace very far away.

We knocked on their door and Caku ran to the door and immediately hugged Cally and Hazen.  He kissed them, stroked their hair, held their hands and smiled the biggest smile I've ever seen.  He doesn't speak English, but the universally understood language of love was so apparent.  He was so trusting and loving and for the next two hours, he amazed me.  He ate an American lunch, he got tackled by his older brother, and he gave tons and tons of hugs and kisses.

 

He already looks like he's fitting right in here in Vermont.  He is dressed just like a Vermonter, has gone sledding, and even skied three times.  It's not an easy adjustment for Chase, whose been an only child for the past six plus years, but he too is giving lots of hugs and telling his mom how much he loves Caku.  

I'm in awe of the Brown-Winukor family.  They haven't just adopted two children.  They are committed to helping children and making the world a better place.  Rebecca has raised thousands of dollars for Ethiopian hospitals and the people there.  She's returned to the country numerous times to do just that.  They have so much love to give and these two little guys are giving it right back to them.  They make me want to be a better person and I'm so glad that my kids can call these folks their friends. 

5 Years

 

A lot has happened in the five years since we walked down the aisle and said, "I do" to each other........ a house renovation, three different dogs, a cat, two kids, a doctoral degree.  I remember  being asked by a therapist, "where would you like to see yourself in five years?".  I was in my thirties, in a dysfunctional relationship and I really couldn't see that far through the murkiness and uncertainty.  But if I had been asked on my wedding day where I thought I'd be today, I could only have dreamed that it would be where I am right now.  I couldn't be happier to have married John Abbott.  He's the best friend I've ever had.  He adores me and teaches me so much about what I need to do to be a better person.  He is playful, adventurous, funny, thoughtful, smart, and he makes me so incredibly happy.

With all that has happened in the past five years, there hasn't been a whole lot of time for us to focus on us.  We juggle work, children, exercise, friends, individual and couple time constantly.  Usually, it's the "us" time that gets pinched the most.  So, I decided we should try to get away on a mini anniversary trip to celebrate five years.  Knowing that it is a lot to ask anyone to watch two small children, we planned our escape to cover a day when both kids would be covered by daycare and only entailed a 45 minute drive.  We decided to return to the Inn at the Round Barn Farm for a night (and two days of skiing).  

Bumpa and Grandma took the bait (an offer to stay with two of their adorable grandchildren) and we booked the night months ago.  We crossed our fingers that the snow gods would bless us with copious amounts of snow, but we also hoped that the kids would be healthy.  After a rocky late January and early February, we thought we were in the clear...... until I got the call that Cally had a fever the day before vacation started.  Long story short, she had that same persistent cough, brought her to the doctor, lungs sounds were clear, but the fever wouldn't shake.  So on the day Grandma and Bumpa arrived, John brought both kids back to the doctor and confirmed that Cally had pneumonia AGAIN!  Hazen, at this point, was coughing (or a better descriptor would be barking) too, so we had him checked, but he was fine.  Last time Cal went on antibiotics for pneumonia, the cough cleared up within a day, so I was hopeful the same thing would happen.

Unfortunately, it didn't.  The kids kept my parents up the first night they were here (before we left) and really tested the grandparents stamina the night we were away by both coughing and even having Hazen join them in bed in the middle of the night (a VERY infrequent occurrence)-- continuing to cough on them and squirm around.  By the time we returned after skiing the following day, they were ready to curl up and go to bed.  But they couldn't for long because it was Bumpa's Birthday:

But even though they were exhausted and worked by our kids, they continued to be amazing grandparents to these guys:  

Bumpa explaining what the word "altruism" means

Grandma playing with Lincoln Logs

Bumpa reading silly stories to Hazen

Grandma and Cally made Bumpa's birthday really special by making a Pineapple Upside Down Cake and making lots of homemade cards.  The adults went out to a great dinner and Cally and I took Bumpa skiing at Sugarbush the day after his birthday.  At 74 he's still getting after it on the slopes!  He wears the same jacket he's had since the 80's, but he made Cally's day by taking a few runs with her!

I'm so happy to have gotten to get away for a few days with the love of my life.  We rode dozens of lifts together in a snow storm, we skied until our legs could hardly ski anymore, and we got to re-experience the Inn at the Roundbarn in a way that we couldn't during our wedding.  We arrived to freshly baked cookies at 3:30pm, they gave us a 4 pack of Heady Topper, and we hung out by the fire eating house smoked salmon and pickled onions before heading out to a romantic dinner at the Common Man.  We slept like we haven't slept in years and enjoyed a delicious breakfast before hitting the slopes for more fresh snow!

I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to get away and to have parents who are willing to help us make that happen.  I know that the kids loved having them all to themselves and I'm certain that they all got to know each other in ways that they can't when John and I are around.  Unfortunately, Bumpa is already down with a sickness that is likely to have been passed on to him by our kids.  Perhaps, if we ever get the opportunity to do something like this again, we'll have to do it in the summer, when it's not the season of icky ick!