Trouble

Oh Boy!  We are in for it.  Four years into this adventure we call "parenting", we are hitting bumps that I didn't think we'd encounter for at least another five years....... On Sunday we invited Cally's classmates and teacher over for an informal gathering.  This was something another mom had talked about doing earlier in the year, but it never happened, so John and I decided to host cocktails and sledding.  Because there was no snow, the sledding didn't happen, and perhaps that was the problem with our plan.  Whatever is the case, our daughter behaved in ways that we had never seen...... Soon after her girl buddies arrived, she was bubbling with excitement.  The warning bells should have gone off when, ten minutes into this "party", Cally said that she and Addie were going to draw on each others faces with her markers.  I mean, I guess, it's good that she told me before it happened..... I reminded her what happened the last time she did that with Hazen and asked if she was prepared to lose her marker for a week this time (for the first infraction it was just 24 hours).  She immediately declared that, no, she didn't want that to happen, but snuck upstairs with a few markers without me seeing.

Ten minutes after that, the rest of her classmates had arrived, and they immediately became a pack and headed upstairs.  Cally had spent some time cleaning up her room and in the past she'd shown her friends her room, maybe tried on dress ups or played with stuffed animals, but we never had any reason not to trust her up there.  We even sent her buddy Isaac's older sister upstairs to make sure nothing really bad happened (in retrospect, I'm not sure why we thought a 7 year old would or could wield the authority we needed).  Soon after they went up there, Cally came running downstairs, hardly able to contain the giggles-- she had used markers to write on her trash can.  I then moved the markers and said they wouldn't be able to be used for a week and went back to making sure the adults in the house were fed and hydrated.  Ten minutes after that, she came running down in a diaper and her bathrobe/towel on.  When I asked her what was going on and why she was acting so funny, she exclaimed that they were "playing babies" and she was the baby.  John then got her to get dressed and had a conversation about her silly behavior and why she was acting so differently that she does at school. The final straw came when the girls decided to sneak salsa and bean dip up to Cally's room for a "picnic".  I was alerted to a spill just as I was serving my homemade mac and cheese for the kids.  I ran upstairs to find two vomit sized spots on her oatmeal colored berber carpet.  Addie's mom was doing her best to clean it up, but it was clear that this was going to be a tough mess to clean up.

Through all of this, I was trying to be a "mellow" hostess, but at this point, I was ready to blow a gasket.  Our party was winding down and both John and I were scratching our heads as to why our cute and thoughtful daughter had behaved as she did.  We knew that she did not work alone and she was likely to be doing this because her friends were around.  We wondered if having had few playdates was a part of the problem..... she was so excited to have friends over that she got carried away and disregarded all established norms in our house.  Or maybe our norms or standards weren't clear?  Or maybe she's just too young to be trusted to be unattended?  I think it's a combination of it all, but we were so bummed out by her odd behavior.

But that didn't last long, because it's hard to be bummed out about a girl like this.  Someone who decides that we need to all go out and sled on a Monday afternoon because it finally snowed and Zephy needs some exercise or a that girl who randomly throws out "I love you's" just when you need them the most and tells us that we are beautiful on a whim.  She's that kid who gives random hugs to her brother and is learning how to share even though it doesn't come naturally, but she knows it is the right thing to do.  But, most importantly, she already gets the importance of saying "I'm sorry".
 

Don't get me wrong..... the gathering wasn't all bad.  The other parents had a ball and thanked us for hosting such a great event.  And at the end of the night, the boys had a little dance party-- during which Hazen was proud to learn a few new moves: