The excitement with Cally today came from a somewhat spontaneous outing to a local hair salon...forced to go out of desperation really. It's amazing how much of a back seat personal grooming and hygiene have taken since becoming a full time parent. It's somehow refreshing to forget when you took your last shower or wore clothes that would be generally be considered suitable for public appearance. Anyway, my usual "go to" is a little place in Burlington that charges 10 dollars for a men's cut or to my neighbor Martha who runs a salon from her house. she hasn't been around.
Aside from a chance to escape the house for an hour or so, I had no idea that our adventure might bring a possible window into our shared future. The women at the salon were of course thrilled to have a baby come visit, most of them being mothers and even grandmothers. Also interested in Cally was the receptionist...an attractive, young stylist in training who I soon learned had been crowned Miss Vermont 2009! "She is preparing for the next Miss America contest and a career in modeling," I was told with glee. "Tiffany" was super friendly. The elder stylists were fawning over Cally and were clearly tickled when telling me that Tiffany had just returned from Boston last weekend, having participated in a modeling runway event. "They even let her stay at the bar after the event," they explained,"even though she is only 18."
The older stylists excitedly encouraged Tiffany to share the photos with me of her in her make-up, gold sequined gown and and gold false eyelashes. She looked, well, pretty made up and much older than the friendly teen sitting in front of me playing with Cally. Cally, as usual, was a peach. She cooed and smiled for the ladies while I sat in the chair amused, nervously watching clumps of my hair fall to the floor...
At three months old, Katy and I have no idea what the future will bring for Cally. Developing interests and passions are less a priority than clutching dangly toys or trying to pee on her changing table BEFORE we can get a new diaper on her. I guess we've assumed that she will grow to just love spending time with us in the woods skiing, biking, hiking, paddling or climbing. With parents who are wilderness educators and instructors these are the things any of our kids should fall in love with right?
Whether we're ready to admit it or not, we've fantasized that Cally would likely play soccer in the fall (Katy would prefer field hockey as a former player and coach), ski in the winter and possibly lacrosse or baseball in the spring (okay, so the baseball fantasy is mine and mine only).
Sitting in the salon chair, I secretly celebrated the kindness, genuineness and giddiness of the elder stylists as they basked vicariously in Tiffany's beauty and bright future. Yet amidst all this good feeling and intergenerational comraderie, I suddenly felt my chest tighten and my brow furrow. I was overcome by a super bad case the "what ifs?". Cally smiled up to me oblivious, reclining in her car seat below drooling and smiling.
What if Cally wants to play hockey and we have to drag her to practice and tournaments at ungodly hours and in distant ice rinks? And, even more alarming, what if she decides she wants to be the "real" Barbie, driving around the country with a troop of made up fashionista friends in a fashionable camper going to fashion shows or modeling tryouts? What about our ski and climbing trips? what about our long bike rides on crisp fall days?
As my cut ended and the buzzer descended on to my neck, a sense of peace washed over me. I considered the children of a few of our closest friends. These little kids all seem to be hard wired to become the amazing people they will become...already! Our friend Jen is an incredible singer, songwriter and thespian, but her boys want nothing more than to play with trucks and heavy machinery and, occasionally, play with trucks and heavy machinery. Our friend Mary, a former collegiate Division I field hockey player, had dreamed of having a daughter that would follow in this tradition of high level competitive athletics. Claire instead is preparing for an upcoming ballet recital...and really excited about it.
As we drove up the hill toward home, I looked in to the little car seat mirror fom my rear view and watched as Cally's heavy lids dropped to her favorite meditation music... the car motor. In the end, who can predict the path our kids will take? Some are predictable and laser focused, the others seeming wild cards. Beside, maybe if Cally ends up on "Project Runway" I will finally meet Heidi Klum in person.
