My friend Melinda, from high school, was diagnosed with breast cancer last January. It is not unusual for a woman to get breast cancer these days and the survival rates are getting higher and higher. I teach my students that 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women will get diagnosed with Cancer. But I also teach them that science has come a long way and it isn't the death sentence that it used to be.
Melinda did get diagnosed with a particularly "bad" form of breast cancer- triple negative. I knew it wasn't a good thing, but I figured she would fight the good fight and come out of this with a big smile and a stronger sense of the world. Unfortunately, her cancer didn't respond to any of the chemo treatments and spread to her liver and her spine. A year after she was diagnosed, she died.
Melinda has two little kids. Ellie just turned 5 years old and Cole is 7 and a half. I think of my childhood and what I remember when I was five and seven. I remember moving to a new town at five and making new friends. I remember vacations and birthdays. But I don't remember the everyday. I don't remember the pets I had before that point. I don't remember the things my parents said to me. But I do remember being happy and loved.
Melinda was diagnosed with cancer when her kids were the same age as Cally and Hazen. She had an extra year with her kids. But she was being treated for cancer and I can't imagine that she felt all that great. But Melinda was the kind of person who made the most of EVERY moment. She thought deeply, laughed hard, and kept her chin up to the end.
I went down to CT for her memorial service. I'm so glad that I did. It was so great to see her family and support them. He husband, Jesse, was amazingly strong and the kids were adorable. I can't even imagine what Jessse was going through, but he has tons of support and love because Melinda was such a force and spirit.
Our time here on the planet is short. Even if we live 100 years, it's short. We are all going to die, but Melinda died too early. She reminds me everyday to appreciate life and the little things that I had taken for granted. She reminds me to take a deep breath when I'm exasperated, to seize the moment while I can, and love my family as much as humanly possible. She also reminds me that our life is temporary and it's not about what we do, but the mark we leave. She reminds me to love Cally and Hazen and make sure they feel adored. Mel certainly left an amazing mark on the world. I'm a better person for having known her.
