Our Unsung Hero

One week down, 3-5 to go. It is clear that one person is handling this whole collision of circumstances like a champion. Cally has been nothing short of amazing. She continues to smile often, tell us she loves us out of the blue, and crack jokes. We have been so fortunate to have friends, colleagues, and students help us by reading and playing with Cal, moving and stacking our wood, babysitting, offering to clean our house........ We are so lucky to have such a great community of people in our lives. It helps to have a dynamic daughter who has charmed folks enough to make them want to help out.




That said, there is one player in this family who has sort of taken the back stage but been a key player in this whole charade. Hazen Philip is incredible. Since this whole situation unfolded a week ago, he has rolled with it, brought tons of smiles to his sisters face and kept everything in perspective. Even before the accident a bond was forming:


When Cally came out of anesthesia after her leg was set at the hospital, grumpy as a bear coming out of hibernation too early, there was only one thing that made her smile...... not her mother, her father, her favorite stuffed animal. Nope, none of those things helped, what made her smile at 2:30am with a body cast recently wrapped around her agile little body, was her little brother, whom she'd only known for three weeks.


When doctors or nurses would come in and talk to us, she always wanted to make sure they knew she is a big sister and that her brother's name is Hazen.


When visitors come over, they are so good about making Cally feel special and of their utmost concern, but who can resist a little moment with an infant:




I'm not going to lie, there have been moments, when Hazen is hungry and is crying and Cally needs a book read and is whining and John and I look at each other and wonder how we are going to survive this month or so. But, we've learned to multitask and become number one fans of the Moby wrap. Yep, that's Hazen in the brown contraption on John's chest and Cally in his arms. Before all this happened, John wouldn't have stepped near the Moby wrap-- it seemed too feminine and complicated. That changed when Cally's Orthepedic Surgeon saw me wearing Hazen in the Moby at the hospital and proudly proclaimed that he loves the contraption and wears it all the time with his own 9 month old son. Now there aren't many daytime napping hours that pass without Hazen wrapped as snug as a bug on one of our bodies.


The moments of chaos are rare and most of the time we have nothing to complain about. Here's to the little man who continues to pack on the ounces (he weighed in at 8 lbs and 13 oz the other day) and helps put everything in perspective.


And here's to keeping our life as normal as possible....... like taking a walk down to the mailbox and getting the paper.

If We Could Turn Back Time.......

If I could turn back time, we would have stayed inside all afternoon last Sunday. We would have kept our precious little spirit safe in the house. But we didn't stay inside last Sunday. We decided to go for a quick family ski in the pastures neighboring our house, a loop we've done more times than we can count. It was a bluebird day, but quite cold, so we decided to keep the kids close to our bodies to keep them warm. Hazen was in a Baby Bjorn on my belly and we decided Cally would be warmest if she was in an Ergo pack on her dad's back. We set out singing "Old McDonald", debated what kind of noise a rabbit makes, and talked about Peter Cotton Tail. We all felt better for being outside.

There is one small hill on the loop. In the days leading up to this fated event, the temperatures had gotten into the 50's and then plummeted to the single digits. Much snow had melted, subsequently frozen solid, and a dusting of new snow had sugar coated the terrain. Our neighbors sometimes drive through the snow in the pastures, so there can be some uneven terrain. We quickly talked about taking our skis off and walking down the small hill, but decided against it. I went first and stopped half way down the hill. Having metal edged skis, stopping wasn't very difficult. John and Cally skied past us, Cally with a huge smile on her face, laughing, and John with a clear look of concern. He was going too fast and knew a fall was in his near future. Having true cross country skis without edges, his options for slowing down were limited. Using his best quick judgement, he decided to try to do a modified hockey stop and fell on his butt (concerned about Cally getting thrown forward over his shoulders). Cally's laughing turned to a cry...... not a screaming cry, a sort of muffled sad cry.

We assumed she was just scared from the fall, but realized that there had to be something else going on. We asked her what hurt and she said it was her ankle. We quickly skied the 100 yards home, got her off John's back, brought her to the couch, pealed off her boots, snowsuit, and tights and assessed what was wrong. There was no obvious swelling, but she pointed to her thigh when asked what hurt and wanted nothing to do with putting weight on it. We immediately grabbed the diaper bag, a sling, and put both kids in the car heading directly to the ER in Burlington. Cally sat quietly in the car, not really crying, but not engaging in conversation either..... which is when we both knew something was really, really wrong. Having been a ski patroller and taken children off the mountain who had broken their femur, I knew that the tell tale pain wasn't necessarily as obvious for them. Because they lack the muscular development, the leg doesn't contract and convulse like it would with an adult.

We were admitted immediately into a room in the ER and within 20 minutes X-rays were being taken of Cally's leg. The nurses, doctors and staff could not have been nicer to us. No one ever shamed us for doing what we were doing and they all engaged Cally, making her feel special and of their utmost concern. Within an hour of being at the hospital, an orthapedic doctor had looked at her X-rays and broken the bad news to us. Cally had broken her femur and would need to go to the OR to have it set and place her in a spica cast (aka a body cast-- see photo below). They thought they could get her into the OR by 8pm. Meanwhile, Cally charmed the ER staff and patiently waited without any pain killers. This is a picture of the brave girl in the ER, showing off her brother to the staff.


By 9:30pm, it was clear that she wasn't going to get into the OR anytime soon, so they transferred her to the pediatric ward at the hospital. She was exhausted and would fall asleep, only to jolt herself awake every 20 minutes or so. We tried giving her pain killers, but she refused anything orally. At midnight, the OR finally called, ready to get her down there. She went into the OR at 12:30am. At 1:30am, the attending surgeon came to tell us everything went well and that she had come out of surgery just fine. At 2:30am she was transferred back to the pediatric ward, where we stayed together as a family in her room, John on a reclining chair, Hazen and me on a spare bed.


Hearing that your active, spirited two-year old has to be in a body cast for 4-6 weeks while also caring for a 3 week old infant is not the kind of news any parent wants to get. But it is what it is and you deal, you plow forward and you figure it out. I'm not going to lie, I was overwhelmed, devestated for her, and just wanted to cry. But, you can't. You have to keep it positive, because she is positive...... even when she has a body cast and can't practice jumping, go on "bear hunts", ski, or run fast. You wouldn't believe this girl. Yes, she's out of sorts and maybe a little whinier than usual, but she still has that wonderful smile, spunk, and charm.

And we're figuring it out and realizing that she still can do so much...... Thanks to a fantastic wagon that her Bumpa and Grandma got her for Christmas she can go on rides around the house and even went to ECHO, a children's museum, on Wednesday.


She can eat breakfast at the table.


She can have her toes "painted" by wonderful friends who come over and read to her.

And she can play, in a different sort of way.....




And even bathing is doable:


I know that 4-6 weeks is but a blip in time and feel so fortunate that Cally isn't faced with a permanent disability. I know that this is going to make our family stronger and prove to us that we can do a lot more than we ever thought we could. I know it will make us a little more aware of the risks involved with our active lifestyle.

But I also know that we couldn't do this with any other cast of characters. Cally is nothing short of amazing; Hazen, well, he deserves his own blog entry here because of how amazing he's been; John obviously feels horrible about what happened, but he's doing everything emotionally and physically possible to make this situation better; our friends-- it makes me cry just thinking about how generous they are with their love, time, books, and support; our family, for being willing to come up here and help. I know it could be so much worse, but I also know that there are a lot of really compassionate and wonderful people out there who aren't judging us for what happened and offering the love and support that we need.

Love is in the Air.....

Monday was the official day to celebrate love, but lately everyday has felt like a day to celebrate the love that is surrounding our family. Between all the meals that the wombats have been delivering to our house every few days, the visitors, the gifts that arrive for Hazen, the phone calls, and the simple pleasure of our family growing together and feeling strong, we are feeling a whole lot of love.

(note the hat and afgan, both handmade for the little man)

FAMILY LOVE:

Over the weekend, Hazen got to meet his Nana and Grandpa. They are never in short supply of adoration for their grandchildren. Nana knit Hazen a little afgan blanket and another sweater for Cally (embarassingly, I've lost count of the number of sweaters she has knit for Cal....... I think we are at number 7!). They both read countless books to Cal, changed their fair share of diapers and did some quality snuggling with the little man.


SKI LOVE:

Most importantly, for our nuclear family, we've been getting out of the house to continue to do what we love most-- ski and be outside. After a few botched attempts (forgotten skins or one pair of skis), we've finally figured out how to make it happen. And it seems to make each of us happy--even the little guy, who seems to love being all snuggled into the baby bjorn.


BIG GIRL LOVE:

Ever since the little man came home from the hospital, a certain someone seems like a much bigger kid. She literally feels heavier, looks taller, and sounds more articulate. She's becoming such a great helper around the house-- grabbing a blanket for Hazen, finding a pacifier for him, reminding me to put ointment on my sore boobies, or insisting that she can make her little brother smile on the changing table.



A week ago, Cally went down for a nap. An hour later, I heard a big thump from her room and then a cry. Cally had fallen out of her crib and bitten her tongue. We'd been thinking about the transition to a "big girl bed", but didn't want to push it because of the other big transition in our household. When I asked Cally if she wanted to move into the bed, she eagerly agreed to give it a try. Our wise friend, Medora, recommended keeping the crib in the room, so that if the bed thing didn't work out, we could easily put her back in there. The first night that she settled into the bed, I cried. I'm in trouble if this is how emotional I get after each milestone is met and our little girl grows up so quickly.


CREATIVE LOVE:

Cally, Hazen and I met up with Isaac, his parents, and his 5 day old brother, Oliver for Tadpole Art in Burlington. The kids got to play with clay, paint, and make a collage. Cal loved every minute of it!




Husband Love:

And finally, here's to the love that got us into this mess in the first place!


This was our 5th Valentine's Day together and John surprised me with a date at the same place we've celebrated this special day for the past five years. The tradition started during the epic Valentine's Day storm of 2007..... I think it snowed over 34 inches that day and we'd had an amazing day of skiing at Mad River. The drive home was crazy treacherous and there were almost no cars on the road. Just about every business had shut down that day and we assumed our reservation at Sonoma Station had been cancelled. Alas, they were open and we dined with only one other couple (whom had skied to the restaurant).

So every year, John has made a reservation for us at this same special place to remind us of that very special day. This year, the thought of getting out on a date for Valentine's Day didn't even cross my mind. But, John arranged for Uncle Scotty to watch Cally while we took the little man to Sonoma Station. It was a flawless evening. Hazen slept the entire time, we had a delicious and romantic meal, and Cally was thrilled to have her buddy Scott put her to bed.

Love is clearly all around!

Hazen Philip Abbott Arrives

Cally is officially a big sister!

Hazen’s birth story:

After a few false alarms, at 4am on Sunday, January 30^th, I woke up with what would become my labor with Hazen. John and I stuck it out in the bedroom for an hour, timing the contractions and trying to come up with a plan for Cally care and our trip to the hospital. Not wanting to disturb anyone else’s valuable sleep, we did our best to wait to call the doctor and our dear friend Medora (who had volunteered to watch Cally until her grandparents could get up here). By 5:45am, when contractions were averaging about 7 minutes apart, I decided I couldn't really wait much longer and we called in the troops. Our doctor encouraged us to stay home until contractions were 5 minutes apart, but by 6:30, I felt like I just needed to be getting the ball moving towards the hospital. We woke up Cally and had Medora meet us at the Cumberland Farms in Richmond. Cally didn’t seem to miss a beat and was thrilled to be spending the day with Medora, Addy, Tanner and Spencer.

John and I arrived to the hospital at 7:30am. By then, my contractions were just about 5 minutes apart (some a little more frequent, some less). I was hooked up to a monitor for 20 minutes and told by the nurse that I was in “early” labor. Even though some contractions were 2 ½ minutes apart, others were five minutes apart and the nurse explained that my body still needed to “organize” the contractions. At this point a resident checked my cervix and told me I was 4.5 cm dilated (considering I had been 3cm dilated for the past three weeks, this was disappointing news). I was also told that I couldn’t get in the big bath that I was dreaming about because it could slow down my labor.

By 8:15, my doctor arrived and chatted with me for about 30 minutes, coaching me through a bunch of contractions. Eventually, she encouraged me to get in the bath, so by 8:45, I got in there. Within minutes of being in the comfortable tub, my water broke. By 9am, I felt like I couldn’t handle the intensity of the contractions and cried “mercy” to my nurse, claming I wasn’t sure if I could do this (without an epidural). She told me we could talk about it after the next contraction, a few times. A little after 9am my doctor came back in the room and checked my cervix by using a mirror in the tub. At that point I was 9 cm dilated and she informed me that I’d be having this baby very soon. In fact, she wanted to be sure that I was all right having the baby in the bathtub. I labored for a few more contractions and realized I didn’t want to be in the tub anymore, I was overheating and kind of grossed out by being in the tub……. The doctor needed to drain the tub enough to get me out through a door, have a contraction, and then scurry to the bed. So, about ten minutes later, Hazen Philip was born.

We didn’t know if we were having a boy or a girl. Cally kept telling me I was having a girl, so I sort of let myself believe that. In any case, John and I were both really surprised when a little guy came out. What amazed us even more was the red hair! Not just the red hair, but the uncanny resemblance between Cally and Hazen. It’s pretty wild. Can you guess which photo is of Cally and which one is of Hazen?

Cally is so, so happy to be a big sister.

She was also so happy to have her Grandma and Bumpa around to play with her (they arrived on Sunday afternoon to relieve Medora and her family of their duties). They were incredible! Grandma got Cally up and dressed her for four days in a row…… letting her pick out outfits that clearly didn’t match and letting us catch a few more winks of sleep. She also must have done 10 loads of laundry and almost as many loads of dishes. Both of them made sure we were well fed, rested, and comfortable.

Cally really hasn’t missed a beat with the expanded family. She loves helping and she’s making sure she gets what she needs. It’s definitely a juggling game for us (especially, now that the grandparents have left), but she continues to make us laugh, express her love, and is learning to entertain her little brother.

And the parents are doing pretty well, too. We are getting some sleep, bonding with the little guy, getting great meals from friends, and John has even gotten some skiing in. And yep, that's me drinking a well earned beer!