Single Parenting (Not)

Before me and before Cally and Hazen, John used to teach a mountaineering course for UVM students in Peru every May or June.  Once Cally was born, I knew that I couldn't handle being a single parent during the busiest part of my school year.  Even with the extra cash that he makes doing these trips, I knew the limits of my sanity and asked that he wait a few years.  For the past few years, he's tried to get a trip to the Cascades to replace that trip (as it would require him to be away for about half the amount of time for the same pay), but he never got enough students.  He says the Cascades aren't "sexy" enough.

Now that the kids are older, I felt like I could handle his being gone, especially if he didn't go during my last two weeks of school.  I also knew that I wouldn't be able to do it without help.  So, I called in the reserves (both sets of grandparents and a set of god parents).  And it made all the difference.

Grandma and Bumpa came in as the first set of reinforcements.  I needed coverage so that I could run half of the Vermont City Marathon and so they got to be a part of all sorts of Memorial Day fun.  The kids ran the 1/2 mile Yam Scram on a chilly, but lovely day on the waterfront:

They held down the fort while I ran my part of the marathon:

We got to play with the cousins in Stowe:

We went the Memorial Day Parade where the kids literally got "rained on" by candy:

We had a fun dinner out at the Jericho Tavern:

And they got to be here for Cally's first lost tooth!

It was so great to have them here to meet Cal at the bus, pick up Hazey at Poker Hill, and do the drop offs on Tuesday morning after the weekend.  Cally and Grandma snuggled and read most of the BFG by Raold Dahl and Hazen wore Bumpa's arm out by having him pitch baseballs to him.

On Wednesday, Nana and Grandpa arrived to help me out with pick ups and drop offs.  They arrived with homemade fried chicken and potato salad.  They were so excited to be able to walk Cal to the end of the driveway for the bus on Thursday and Friday morning and meet her at the bus in the afternoon.

They offered tons of snuggles and reading, as well.  It's so fun to see both the grandparents and the kids light up around each other. Their help was invaluable.  It made my mornings so much less hectic and was great to have company.  That said, it's hard not to feel self conscious about the kids behavior, the cleanliness of our house, and how our yard looks.  I don't think I'm unusual because I want the grandparents to think their grandchildren are perfect..... but the reality is that they just aren't.   We all have our highs and lows.  Having an audience makes me all to aware of all of our shortcomings. I tend to take it too personally and put pressure on myself when they misbehave or the messiness of our life is under the spotlight.  Fortunately, both sets of grandparents seem to get it.  They have so much less chaos in their lives, so it must be quite the culture shock to spend a bunch of days with us!

Cal got invited to her first sleepover at Celine's house.  She's been pretty "anti" sleepovers for the past six months and I was pretty convinced that she wouldn't actually make it for the sleepover part.  When I dropped her off, she was having second thoughts and whispered that she wasn't sure about being there for the night.  I assured her that I'd be happy to pick her up as long as it wasn't too late.

I didn't end up hearing from her until the next morning.  The first thing she said to me when I picked her up was, "I think I'm ready to have a sleepover with Tom and Cara".  The last sleepover with them hadn't gone all that well, so I was so happy to be able to pass that along to them.  In fact, they were scheduled to watch the kids for much of the day on Saturday because I had a shower to attend and they had all sorts of fun things to do with them.

The kids had a great time an an Energy festival, walking in the stream, and having dinner with Tom and Cara while I went on a mountain bike ride, attended a shower, got a pedicure, and had drinks with a friend. It was the perfect "me" day.

The kids and I spent the following rainy day watching the movie "Annie" and going to Echo.

The rest of the stint of single parenting went pretty well.  Morning were hectic and school started to get really busy for me, but the kids "get it" when I explain that I'm frazzled or stressed by all that needs to happen.  I worked hard to set myself up for success, like setting the coffee on a timer and making lunches the night before.

I felt like we worked well as a team, but we definitely missed having John around.  It's when he's gone that I realize how much he does in the mornings and how much stress he takes off of my plate by doing drop offs almost every morning.  Not to mention all the hugs and love we were lacking from him.

Community Service

Each year, every advisory at MMU spends a half of a day doing community service.  One of my senior advisory members has invited us to help her family out at the dairy farm they have in Jericho.  It's one of the only working dairy farms in Jericho and they are a family that has gone through a lot of hardships in the last year and a half.  Clarissa lost her brother to a car accident and months later her dad was diagnosed with cancer.

We went to the farm last year and it was clear to me that many high school students have no understanding of what it means to help others in their community.  We stacked about four cords of wood for the family (they go through 25 cords a winter) and I was also shocked by how little some of my students do in terms of physical labor.  There were strong boys who appeared to have never lifted more than a pen or a computer.

I want Cally and Hazen to understand how important it is to be a part of a community and give to it.

We had a great time stacking wood, weeding, and feeding the baby cows.  The big kids were so nice to the kids, including Zac, who is a 20 year old boy with down syndrome who participates in my advisory.

It seems fitting to add Auntie Cara's birthday to our post about community service.  Cara and Tom are amazing people who do wonderful things for the world through their work.  They make the world a better place.  Here's to role models and opportunities that give these guys a sense of worth and helpfulness.

Mother's Day

This year I had a wonderful Mother's Day weekend.  It began with John and me taking another "personal day" to mountain bike in the Northeast Kingdom.  This is our favorite place to ride and where we got engaged, so it was an extra special day.

It was a truly perfect day of riding.  I think it got up to 80 degrees, the trails were bone dry, and there weren't all that many people there.

The rest of the weekend was spent doing yard work with the kids, getting alpaca poop for the garden, and planting some seeds.

And, of course, John treated me to a lovely morning with eggs benedict, fresh donuts from Poor House Pies, and even some lovely gifts (even this cutie dress).

Being a mother is such a blast.  These guys are more and more fun every day.  They certainly aren't "easy", but they warm me with love every single day.  Most importantly, they make me so, so proud.  to be their mama.  They are funny, smart, thoughtful, and pretty darn adorable.  On this mother's day I feel so incredibly lucky.

May!

Every year when we get back from spring break, John jumps right into the end of year count down.  Our favorite event is the end of year picnic for the Outing Club at High Meadow.  It's so fun to see the kids interact with the college kids and wonderful to see everyone appreciating such a gorgeous spot.

This year the kids were super fired up to collect frog eggs.

We are very lucky to have so many wonderful role models for our kids.  They are so spirited, kind and fun-loving with our kids.

And it's always fun to have friends over for dinner and smores afterwards.

Hosting the Outing Club end of year picnic at High Meadow, gives us an excuse to go back the next day for some more adventures.  After picking up, we went for a hike and found an owl pellet which was fun to dissect.

Spring Break!

It was a long, long winter..... We were so excited to get down to where the flowering trees were popping out and the buds were sprouting on the trees.  

The journey down to Pisgah National Forest is almost as fun for us as the time we have had down there.  Breaking up the drive makes for easier days and good excuses to reminisce with friends and family.  Our first stop was with Nana and Grandpa Abbott.  They made us a lovely dinner, woke up early with the kids so I could go for a long run (and John could sleep in) and gave the kids a great place to ride their bikes for the first time in a long, long time. 

 

Next stop was Middleburg Virginia to see my dear friend Hess, meet her boyfriend, and feel the first temps above 70 degrees in months. 

 

The kids had a run time hunting for four leaf clovers, playing in green grass, smelling tulips, and having a slumber party with Flora. 

Sunday was our longest drive, so we stopped early on at our favorite playground in Harrisonburg, VA.

 

The kids are such great little travelers.  Yes, there is time with our friend the iPad, but the battery is a bit shot, so it's hard for it to hold a charge for very long.  So Cally has taken to reading and Hazen just turns into "Crazy Hazey":

  

The weather was gross, so we didn't mind being in the car..... until the car started to show some signs of problems.  First, all the warning lights went on when we were about 2 hours from Asheville (our destination for the night).  Then the windshield wipers would only go one speed.  I was Google searching all the potential problems that could be happening.  John called our mechanic.  The car was still moving and we were told it was probably in "limp mode".  John was certain we could make it to Asheville, so he had me look up Saab mechanics there.  Things started to go downhill.  The lights didn't work, the hazards, the dashboard lights.... nothing was working, except the motor (but not even that well).  

We were just passing through Johnson City, TN and I had a bad feeling.  My heart was beating so fast and I was terrified to be stalled on the side of an interstate, in the rain, with the kids.  I talked John out of trying to "make it the last hour" because I knew it involved driving through a pass or two.  So, he did the right thing and pulled over.  We drove through a few lights, looking for a hotel or anything.  It was a mill town, but it was Sunday, so it was super quiet.  We hit a red light and the car stalled.  John pushed it into an empty parking lot. At this point, because we'd been using the navigation system on both our phones and doing tons of searches, both our phones were dead.  I walked with the kids to find a place to charge our phones.  The first restaurant I walked into looked nice enough.  I walked up to the bar and told the bar tender what was going on, asked her if I could charge my phone and if she knew a foreign car mechanic.  She hesitated and said, "I don't mean to ruin your day any more, but this is an over 21 establishment".  I left my phone there to charge and thought of plan B.  We ended up seeing a nice older couple and asking them if they knew of a restaurant in the area.  It turns out, there was an amazing restaurant next door to the 21 and over "bar" that I just hadn't seen.  We walked in there and the people could not have been nicer.  

A few hours earlier, I had reserved a room in Asheville through "last minute deals" on Expedia.  It was raining, we'd been in the car a long time and we weren't really up for setting up a campsite in the darkness with rain.  So, we had paid for that reservation and I figured we might as well get there.  We were going to need a rental car and fortunately, there was an airport about a half hour away. 

 

While the kids and I ate dinner, John took a taxi to the airport  to get a rental.  We ended up at this restaurant for three hours.  The waitstaff and everyone we met was so nice to us.  The kids were amazing.  It was 10pm when John showed up in a little Ford Focus.  We stuffed everythign we could in the rental and drove an hour to the motel we had booked.  We were all in bed by 11pm!

The next day, we rendez-voused with our friends, the Aubin/Weiland's, who were staying at the motel next door.  We got to our favorite campground.  Set up our camp-- right next to a lovely river and in the sunshine. 

Our home away from home

John headed back to Johnson City with the Aubin's car, so he could arrange for AAA and pick up our bikes (they didn't fit in the rental).  I watched the kids so Ryan and Bryan could get out for a ride.  It was just so great to be there. 

The crew-- Cally, Hazen, Isaac, and Oliver

Oli and Hazen playing the stick game on the bridge

Too cold to swim, but fun to get our feet wet

Bryan and Ryan had a great ride and when they came back, I got out for a the perfect trail run.  John made it back by dinner and we had a great fire.  

 \

 It turns out it was just the alternator that went.  A relatively quick and inexpensive fix.  The mechanic was able to get the car in on Tuesday and John picked it up that afternoon.  But first, we got out for a perfect ride:

I spent the afternoon with the kids again, while Ryan and Bryan went for a couples ride.  Hanging out with these guys has gotten so easy.  While I hung out in the hammock, sometimes snuggling with a kid, sometimes reading to a kid, or sometimes feeling warm sunshine on my face and a warm breeze against my skin, they scootered, biked, made fairy houses, played baseball, or threw frisbees.  There were three campsites occupied within the loop that we were camped.  It was heaven.

Someone told me that one way to get your kids not to stay plugged in for a road trip and look at the surroundings, you can tell them that if they see an ice cream store, you'll stop.  It turns out there is an ice cream shop at the entrance to the National Forest where we camp (1.5 miles away).  My kids were so fired up for ice cream.  So, as soon as John returned from Johnson City (second round trip in two days), we decided to celebrate and get ice cream.

John had heard that there was a new brewery from Colorado from the area, so he mentioned going on a little drive to find it...... It turns out this Shangri La:

I know, it doesn't look all that amazing.... but

 

 

Hazen learning how to play Corn Hole

He quickly became obsessed

Kids table (root beer)

adults enjoying Oscar Blues - Deviant Dale's

We liked it so much, that we came back the next night:

The kids had a ball hiking and biking.  Here they are at the "kids trail" in Dupont Forest:

Hazen mountain biking on his Barbie bike

Grrrrrrrr

We continued to swap off adult rides and do fun excursions with the kids:

Looking Glass Falls

Visiting the Horse Stables

 On Friday, we had to say good bye to Davidson River Campground.  But we were excited because we still had a few more stops.  First we stopped at Merle Fest.  It was a gorgeous day!



The kids had a ball at the "Little Pickers" area:

We ate lots of "bad" food:

And we enjoyed some fun music:

We hit the road at 8:30pm with a plan to drive as far as we could towards Baltimore.  We ended up missing a key turn and had to head up I-95 instead of I-81 (up the western side of Virginia).  When I realized we would be driving through Richmond, VA, I immediately got in touch with my old graduate school friend, Sarah.

We ended up meeting her and her family at her daughter's school fair.  It was one of the most amazing fairs I've ever been to, even if it was raining and was so great to see her.

This set us back a little with our visit to Baltimore, but we did arrive by 3:30-- with enough time to skooter with Uncle Rob:

Before heading into Baltimore for an Orioles/Red Sox Baseball game.  We had heard that there were some demonstrations downtown, so we decided to take the light rail.  This, of course, thrilled the kids:

However, the light rail had to stop six blocks from Camden Yard because the demonstrations had moved towards that part of town.  We weren't really sure what to think, at this point.  People were telling us to turn around, that tear gas was being used and not to go into the thick of it.  We charged ahead anyway.

In front of Camden yard, there were hundreds of police officers in riot gear, but nothing was really going on.

Once we were inside, you'd hardly have known there was unrest outside the stadium.

I urged everyone to leave around 9:30, even though the game was tight.  I'm glad we left when we did.  Things had gotten a little out of hand right in front of the stadium during the game.  A few police cars were damaged, but when we left, there wasn't much to see.

We definitely saw some angry people -- yelling a lot and some holding bats.  But, we kept walking toward the light rail.  Just as we were getting further from the nice hotels and whatnot, we heard a speaker at the station say that the light rail was closed for the night.

Without a plan, we turned around and headed back to the nicer part of town.  Just as we were a block or two away, we saw the train coming up the tracks and knew we should grab that train while we could.  It was such a relief!  Immediately, these guys were down.

Our visit to Baltimore is always too short, but it was so great to see Will, Nif, and Rob.

We had such a great trip!  We made memories and had so much fun with everyone that we got to see.  It was a lot of driving, but I'd do it again and again.  I loved everything about it.